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| Team Summit watching Meatspin |
Both Teams came up with really frigid and awkward ideas that only serious try hard businessmen and women would think of. With many candidates saying “I don’t really have any experience with online videos”, this set the alarm bells ringing because how the hell do a load of young businessmen haven’t ever experienced YouTube or used it? No researching Youtube stars or thinking of those hilarious videos they saw during your uni days, it was just “right, let’s do the videos ourselves and completely forget what humour is”.
Team Summit came up with “Dare to dine”, a video channel all
about cooking challenges and James looking like an idiot while Rosion tried seriously
hard not to knock him out with a saucepan everytime he made a shite slapstick
joke. Team Tenacity on the other hand thought that fitness videos would be a
great idea to do and because Felipe came up with the idea, everyone decided
they should make him the fat man in the video to be bullied and chanted “fat
daddy” at for hours. What we didn't see was Felipe crying in the toilets while eating a Celebrations box.
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| "Yeah maybe we bullied Felipe a bit *too* much..." |
10 year old business man Soloman made easy work of his team’s
video, injecting the right amount of entertainment and enthusiasm into
the video, which clearly spread out throughout the team. It even got Jemma
talking for the first time all series, making me finally be able to give her a
name rather than “glasses girl”. Their video could have easily been dragged
down by James’ try hard idiot “act” or the cringe worthy unfunny-ness of the
video, but hey, at least they had a rough idea of how to make a Youtube video
even if they really were scraping the barrel a far bit. Although next time
maybe just stick with baby biting his brother or leaking Soloman’s sex tape.
Female Ed Milliband, Ella Jade, failed to make what could
have been a watchable video but instead became a montage of bullying Felipe
into losing weight and regularly calling him fat. Daniel raised his hand at
various points to say “this is awful guys, please can we not do this” in which everyone
glared at him as if to say “yes we fucking know that but please can you help figure
out Youtube’s upload system? Ta”. Then I wished he piped up again at the
uploading stage because none of them realised that having a video description
and tags would massively help their hit count. Oh bloody dear. What didn’t help
was Steven’s typical sales pitch of introducing something as mindblowing and revolutionary
with Sarah’s confusing answers to Buzzfeed's concerns about the video being offensive. Surprised Buzzfeed didn’t
include Steven in a “15 people who should consider a career move” list.
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| Daniel gutted about not going to Iceland - he's run out of cheese. |
After the two teams struggled to make two watchable videos,
Team Summit’s ‘Dare to Dine’ video got
more hits and were immediately flown to Iceland while their opposite team
shouted at each other and Kate outta nowhere (RKO style) took down Sarah about
her “women should wear short skirts and wear push up bras” comment. With scenes
more awkward than a meeting between Oscar Pistolrous and Reeva Steenkamp’s
parents, Sarah, Ella Jade and Steven were all back for further bullying from Lord
Sugar. Fed up of Steven’s sass, Sarah’s ignorance and Ella Jade’s lack of
personality, bollock head told everyone to fuck off and fired all three. Approximately
at 9:55pm, up and down the country you could hear a mixture of laughter and “OH
FUCKING HELL”, with further laughing at Ella-Jade-I-promise-you’s pleading to
stay. Sorry love, but looking like Droopy dog isn’t going to help your case at
all.
Next week - Tour buses. Destination - Failure City
