Waterlulz Road S6 EP11: Back to School, Waterloo Road.

(Also here: http://waterlulzroad.tumblr.com/post/3123372527/back-to-school-waterloo-road)

It’s back! It’s back! Another 10 weeks of me posting these commentaries for your amusement! Urgh. I enjoyed the break of playing on my Xbox and not doing my school work but now it's time to resume this commentary of the weekly whacky events in Rochdale with silly plots, shaky camera shots and music rape. 

It seems that the school is resuming it’s experimental approach of attempting to raise the grades of it’s students by segration of boys and girls. Of course, this is Waterloo Road and the track record of experimental schemes were as well received as Roy Hodgson’s reign at Liverpoo. Only person who supported this was Ruby Fry who can't even control the class herself and thought that this issue could help curb this issue. The boys didn’t like this and no one else did really with Finn reacting to the news by turning into an ape and causing everyone else’s brains to shrink and they all join in. Cesca wasn't really impressed with the change as well and asked Karen and Chris how she could make her lessons more interesting. Instant thought: do your lessons while wearing a bikini.

 Looks like Lindsey after a crack addiction in 20 years with a hint of Rose Kelly.

There wasn't any real focus on the single sex classes since backflippin' street dancer George Sampson from Britain's Got Talent appeared and he’s surprised me. Instead of being this kid with trendy clothes and a lovely haircut that enters each scene with some imperative dance according to the music playing in the background with girls quivering at the knees, he’s a pikey. He’s called Kyle “Hay Stack and he’s a real bad arse. He’s a white Bolton with a hint of Earl Kelly and he’s even got a Rottweiler to prove how tough he is. He even talked up how tough his terrier is as well, I'm surprised that Kyle didn't pull a "Some say that my dog can breathe in space" line. He's got a mum that's seen a fair share of drugs, alcohol, and phallus and looks like Rose Mark II but with curves and a bit more dirty with Chlamydia. The school lets Kyle in and he's told that he must be a very good boy and do his work. Of course he's not going to do that, he just wants to "bang someone out". He instantly forms a rivalry with previous bad boy, Finn "leather jacket" Sharkley with them squaring up every 5 minutes and people are on hand to split them up, but it didn't stop him when he smacked Finn in the face. I guess you could say, Finn got....battered.

Anyway, hay stack gets sent to the cooler where Bex is and after seeing her crying, he attempts to wipe the tears off her face but Bex gets the wrong end of the stick and ends up crying rape. Kyle denies her claims but Bex is adamant that he died and it's all going pear shaped for Kyle on his first day at Waterloo Road.

 

To shut up Kyle, Ronan thought it was a great idea to bring in his dog for a spot of doggin- well to back Finn up for protection. In order to train “Timmy”, Josh, Finn and Ronan try and get the German Shepard to maul and slaughter an innocent stuffed bear and instead of being a violent scene from Wire in the Blood, it becomes a Britain’s Got Talent audition with a dancing dog with the occasional leek to unnecessary music. Having failed in bringing out the Hitler out of the dog, the trio decide that there's no point to their attempts so they wander off and resume their duties of sharking and going on pussy patrol.

 This book will be full of the word "anger" in capital letters.

Hell breaks loose when Finn decides to stir trouble and teases Kyle over him touching up Bex and he takes his dog for a stroll into the school so he can munch on Bex. Kyle and his dog chases after Bex into Cesca's Spainano room and backs Bex into a corner demanding that she tells the truth about about the incident in the cooler. Jonah plays the role of hero by grabbing Kyle to let Bex and Cesca out of the room but the dog still managed to harm Jasmine Mark II on the arm but still managed to escape, leaving the boy and his dog locked in the room. Due to this incident in the room, his Rottweiler is rightly deemed dangerous and is taken away to be "destroyed" causing us to see that Kyle isn't this boy who wants to fight everyone, get some girls and cause mayhem, but a fragile sensitive boy. Bless.

So Tina O’Brien has returned from her stint on Strictly Come Dancing and now walking around scared and worried of this “Hodge” bloke. I thought this man was the man Roy Hodgson since he’s out of a job and he’s been twiddling his thumbs for a few weeks but no, it’s someone else. He's leaving her messages, flowers and even popping up outside the school gates in his car. She's obviously paranoid of the man and is in constant fear of him and Karen and Jess are worried with Karen sitting Bex down for a mother-daughter chat, with Bex silent on what she was up to when she was missing. “If I told you, you’d never want to see me again,” she said so it'll probably turn out that she's an ex prossie that worked for this Hodge bloke. I could be proved wrong though.  

Steady on, Woy.

We’ve got a diet Kim on board to fill the vacant Pastoral Care role! After stepping into the school, she was at least going to be better than tight trousers Mead. She’s called Adanna Lawal and has the credentials for the job as she was previously head of the Dumping Ground in Tracy Beaker. Nostalgia alert. She's showing signs that she's exactly like Kim but without the "We should be on top of X!!" rants but it's only her first appearance so let's all be nice and not critical of her. Yet.

Also Janeece wants to be a teaching assistant. Seems the Davina transform from school secretary and bit on the side to teaching assistant to qualified teacher plot is being recycled. Are these characters in a time loop? I wonder. I guess this sub plot is just a way to resume the banter between Ruby and Janeece that provided light hearted fun to the series that the first half provided. If they're going to do that, why don't they just give Grantly more screentime?

IRONY OF THE WEEK: This goes to Ruby Fry for failing to control her class and is unable to get them to stop from leaving the classroom to clean up the mess caused.

“You’re all rubbish!” 

(and you know you are...)