The Apprentice Episode 7 - New York, We Here Baybee

Product placement galore on this week's Apprentice

Judging from the last 6 weeks of this series, you would have thought this task of pitching soft drinks to America would be a great chance to exile certain candidates from Britain, Piers Morgan style. Pretty sure Dan would have been high up on this list given the contempt he holds for his rivals and his general arsehole attitude, but sadly this was purely just a task to flog some drinks to ad lovin' USA. Some had to stay in boring dull England to do the designing, drink production while the others had to fly off to  the flashy US of A to pitch and create ads for their new drink.

Team Summit was fronted by Bianca who's team created an energy drink called Big Dawg, an energy drink looking like watered down blood which explained the sour taste. She dragged James and Soloman with her to New York probably because they both have the two biggest egos in the group. Team Tenacity meanwhile, led by Mark produced Aqua Fusion, a pineapple drink that wasn't particularly pretty but tasted alright I guess. Naturally everyone in the group wanted to go to New York, namely Lauren who clearly was begging to do Stateside to get a tan, so Mark begrudgingly took her and Felipe abroad. 

 

Felipe showed he was more Uwe Boll rather than Steven Spielberg.

For someone so eager to go to America, I can't recall her actually being useful barring the time she showcased her generic American accent in the ad. I think what summed up her time on the task (and why she got sacked) was when her team was editing the ad and the billboard and she was frequently told to help someone else purely so it looked like she was doing something. If anything, she could have at least made the team cups of tea and coffee. Felipe was putting a load of effort in to make a paint by colours drinks ad that proved to be an absolute nightmare with the son actor failing to be able to catch a bottle despite playing as a basketball player. Mark keenly pressured him into actually filming something but this was pointless because the ad was still cringe worthy. Suppose what didn't help was Dan and Katie's cheap logo and dull bottle design but the first rule of The Apprentice is that you got to smile and grin while pitching shite.

However Sanjay and Roison's bottle and logo design was much better and stood out more. Bianca didn't fare too well as a leader due to her poor communication skills and her awful uninspiring advert of three people saying "I like Big Dawg".  No wonder James told her she should have stayed in London. Maybe he's still holding a grudge against her for being a cockblock against him and Soloman when they were blatantly using the casting call to hit on young attractive women.

 

Pitching to industry experts was interesting - Big Dawg managed to impress with a solid presentation even if the product is a bit naff and laughing off any suggestions that the bone in the logo isn't actually a penis. "No it's a bone!" said Soloman, even if it still looks a bit like a penis. Aqua Fusion's pitch on the other hand was more like a lecture on bathroom hand dryers given how lively and fluid it was, completely ruining their own chances in the process. Maybe it wasn't a good idea having a presentation team that isn't 2/3 full of lawyers, after all. 

"Well, at least I've got a future in US soap operas"

Into the boardroom and despite mixed results by both teams, Lord Sugar declared that Team Summit made the less mistakes and won the task. Or perhaps the fact the drink was so American, if it was a person it would be an American waving an American flag in one hand and an eagle on the other. Tenacity argued some more about how everyone else to blame, bar Felipe who stood in silence not blaming anyone or arguing. You have to give it to Felipe, he knows the best way of not looking like a twat on national TV - just don't say anything. No surprises that Lauren was fired given she didn't do much for reasons discussed earlier in this recap but Daniel managed to yet again limp away like a triple amputate cat judging how many lives he's got left.